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Correcting composition

总评：整体剖析四项得分，细致计算扣分项、最终得分

TR 6.5
Answer all parts of the task 7 addresses all parts of the task
Present a clear position throughout the task 7 presents a clear position throughout the response
Extend and support main ideas 6 presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear
CC 6
Paragraph 6 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph
Logical organization of essay 6 arranges information and ideas coherently and there is a clear overall progression
Cohesive devices 6 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
LR 5.5
Range 6 uses an adequate of vocabulary for task attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy
Accuracy 5 may make noticeable errors in spelling and/or word formation that may cause some difficulty for the reader
GRA 5.5
Grammatical Range 6 uses a variety of complex structures
Accuracy of grammar 5 may make frequent grammatical errors and punctuation may be faulty;errors can cause some ditticulty for the reader
Score(四项所得分) 23.5
Other Items Affecting Score （扣分项）
Under length ✕ No. of words 297 Penalty 0
Off-topic ✕ Memorized —— Illegible ——
Overall Band Score (最终分数)：6

审题：从审题根本着手分析

题目序号 013 题目类别 Argumentation 主题 社会类
Many people are moving to cities recently.what are the reasons for this trend ?Is it a positive or negative decelopment?
It is not uncommon to see/it is not rare to see/it is not hard to
Many people are moving to cities recently.What are the reasons for this trend ？Is it a positice or neagtive development ?
Hi dear student,let’s look at our task analysis:
Question Type two question type
Topic Many people are moving to cities recently.
Question What are the reasons of this trend ？It is a positive or negative development ?

段评：每段具体评析

Comment
Task Response It is not perfectly coherent due to errors in the structure, grammar, and data presented.
Coherence and Cohesion Described key features and bullet points. Some parts had no clear reference as to what the percentage represents.
Lexical Resourc Made errors on word choice.Vocabulary range is very minimal due to repetition of words.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy The range of the structure was not very impressive; errors in subject, articles and word form were noted.
Suggestions 1. The subject of the data is a very important part in task1 since we need to describe the data correctly, please recheck the graph carefully and analyse the question well.
2. If you change word forms or use synonyms, make sure you don’t change the subject/data you are describing.
3. Vary words especially in describing trends to avoid repetition. Use synonyms or change word forms.
4. Use articles (a/an/the) for countable nouns; use ‘the’ for specific nouns; no articles are used for general ideas and plural forms.

精批：不仅指出错误，改正错误，还解析原因，提出建议

Comment
Task Response This needs a proper main topic and there are irrelevant details.
Coherence and Cohesion Cohesion could be improved by using more linking words.
Lexical Resourc Shows good range but there are noted repetitions and incorrect usage of words that could cause difficulty to the reader.
Grammar Uses simple sentences but there may be some inaccuracies in the usage of conjunctions, articles, punctuations, verbs, and word forms that could cause difficulty to the reader.
Suggestions This is an Opinion type of essay and we should write our own stand and not that of others. Knowing this, we have to make some adjustments in our main topic because it states the opinion of other people. Also there are numerous inaccuracies in vocabulary and grammar that makes this paragraph a bit difficult to read. Perhaps we should concentrate on these aspects first so that we could show improvement in our writing.
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